The kingdom is deep within
Throughout my life I’ve suffered deeply from psychological problems and emotional breakdowns. I still do, but gradually—through the Lord’s grace and my own choice—I can rise above my woundedness and live in his strength and victory.
So, these days I “live in Nazareth” at home, tending to the duty of the moment: cooking meals, making my bed, baby-sitting, trying to live in peace and order and beauty and goodness—and poverty, by not having too much.
What I would like to say is that there is a deep and hidden hope for this world by living Nazareth. By taming my restlessness, facing my loneliness, tending to my small (yet sometimes insurmountable) duties, I am overcoming this world.
Do you see? I can rise above the difficulties, even though I am very much here; so that I may be good, and even strive towards holiness. So that I might speak to my little charges from my heart and discover in response the treasures of their hearts.
So I might sit silently on the bus, but with an incredible joy in my heart; and then, bit by bit, goodness and even happy laughter start to happen around me. Hidden, hopeful.
A close friend said to me, “You don’t find the kingdom of God outside of yourself. It’s in your heart. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are in your heart.” I think he meant that we can’t find the kingdom in things or in people by depending on them overly much or improperly.
The kingdom is deep within, when we are in proper order with God. And when we are not in proper order, I suppose it’s even more deeply hidden. But it’s there, within us, and it builds.
You can use outer things for the Lord. He may even anoint you with peace and silence that is like the presence of the Holy Spirit surrounding your home and your being. Have you ever experienced a peace so thick you can almost wade through it? Or sense the presence of the Lord coming upon you? “He’s here!” you say, in your lowliness.
Or Our Lady comes, like the beautiful scent of flowers. I always associate her with the flowers I love the most—lily of the valley, lilac, hyacinth. (I don’t relate to roses quite the same way, but clover is very lovely.) There it is!
Have you ever asked her to help you do something, perhaps sew a straight line on the machine, which you know you can’t do, or give you an idea when you don’t know what to do about something? You ask her, and there it is! A relationship with Our Lady can revolutionize your life, literally. It can revolutionize the world.
She is the best one to turn to for advice on how to live Nazareth. There’s such a beauty and heavenly perfection in her that she can change everything around you to that same beauty and perfection if you work alongside her.
A friend told me that women are often more practical-minded whereas men are more empire-minded; they tend to build things, whether it be ideas or empires or actual buildings.
Perhaps that’s why I often turn to St. Joseph. His empire was the home at Nazareth, but his Nazareth can be anywhere. St. Joseph has a place in my heart where, when I can’t turn to anyone else, I go to seek comfort. There, I know him as a father to me, a father and a friend.
And Jesus, Son of God. He supports me in everything. He helps me when I haven’t the strength to make my bed or start the duties of that day.
When you live in the kingdom, you see, the duty of each moment becomes the beauty of the moment: washing dishes, cleaning house, making one’s bed, creating physical peace and order. When this work is done in love, peace descends upon your room, apartment, or house. Christ’s peace. Your home becomes a place of charity and hospitality, just like his home at Nazareth.
As you pray to the Holy Trinity, the love in your prayer begins to enflame your life. Then, little by little, the Lord’s desire will come to fruition—that fire be cast upon the earth!
May you come to know him, the Lord of lords—God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—and all his many wonderful friends, both living and dead.
Who is the Lord of lords? He is the Lord of armies! And I bet they were all raised in Nazareth.
From Restoration 1997.
