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The inner life revealed here was hidden under Joe’s humor, teasing, and awkward way of communicating. I could be wrong, but I don’t think too many people suspected it.
editor
I am a bard of God. I inherited my desire to write from my father and, no doubt, from my pious ancestors in Ireland who were bards or story tellers. In my lifetime, I have written thousands of words for the honor and glory of God.
In this article, I shall describe, according to themes, my spiritual life, my journey inward, as I see it.
Lay Apostolate: The concept of the apostolate of the laity has been for me a major theme. Way back in the sixth grade, I happened across a copy of Dorothy Day’s book, From Union Square to Rome and decided then and there that I wished to be like the Catholic Worker people in her book.
Later on in university—Loyola University in Chicago—I began to read the writings of the popes on the lay apostolate.
Then, in 1956, when I was 23 years old, I dedicated my entire life to God as a lay apostle of Madonna House.
The Mother of God: At fourteen, I entered the junior seminary. I was lonely for my mother; and when I came upon a little shrine to Our Lady of Perpetual Help in the seminary chapel, then and there, I took Mary as my mother.
Some time later, after I had left the seminary, I was at the beach in Chicago and was wearing a Miraculous Medal. I was at my worst as a teenager trying to grow up; and in a moment of rebellion, I wanted to rip off my medal and throw it away.
But thanks be to God, by grace, I resisted the temptation and kept the medal around my neck. This was a key turning point in my life with God.
Years later at Madonna House, I learned about St. Louis de Montfort’s Consecration to Mary and became a slave of Mary.
Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus: The Priests of the Sacred Heart in the junior seminary taught me the doctrinal wealth of the mystery of the Sacred Heart. This devotion of reparation and the return of love for Love has never left my heart.
Devotion to the Father and the Holy Spirit: My early spirituality was almost entirely Christological, but when the Charismatic Renewal came to Madonna House in the early 1970s, it enlivened my devotion to the Holy Spirit. Now I pray to him every day.
The Fatherhood of God is a different story, and I simply stand before a great mystery in awesome wonder.
Devotion to the Saints: I was born prematurely on All Saints Day in 1932, and it was thought that I might die. So, along with my twin brother, I was given emergency baptism. We lived! Is it strange that I am devoted to the saints?
That devotion took a substantial turn in 1975 when I was stationed at Marian Centre, Edmonton. At the public library, quite by accident (except that there are no accidents in the light of Divine Providence) I picked up a book on the life of St. John Cassian. I read it avidly and then wrote up his story.
Little did I know that I was embarking on a project that would take me until 1994 to complete—writing a chronological series of lives of the saints from the first to the twentieth centuries.
Love of Books about Theology, Catholic Spirituality, and Mysticism: When I came to Madonna House, I had a reputation for having read a thousand books! Only partly true. Still, books have been and are my constant joy.
Though books aren’t everything, they are doorways to Christ, the Father, and the Holy Spirit; and they are a good way to learn to love the saints and the Church.
Love of Madonna House, Catherine Doherty, Fr. Eddie Doherty, and Fr. Callahan (first MH priest): I had the opportunity of living with the founders of Madonna House for some 25 years, and what I learned from them cannot be adequately expressed in words, but I will try.
I have learned to desire to be lowly and childlike and to love manual labor. I have learned to desire to become a saint. I have learned that in order to touch God, I need only to touch my neighbor, and that service of others is the way to great holiness. The flaming desire to preach the Gospel with my life is always with me.
Love of Farming and the Land and Feeding the Hungry: My life in MH has been spent in two ways: (1) begging for donated food and feeding the hungry at our Marian Centre Edmonton soup kitchen, and (2) farming in Combermere.
Along with Joe Walker and Ronnie MacDonell, I was one of the founding farmers of our Madonna House farm and spent 18 years there. The farm has been for me a school of asceticism—long hours and hard work.
These were happy years and I received many graces there. One was that of seeing several thousand young men and women come and work there and to see most of them leave with a light which comes from Christ, in their hearts.
I left the farm in 1997 when my body “crashed” from physical exhaustion. It took me three years to slowly recover, and this breakdown taught me to slow down, to appreciate my life in greater depth, and to trust God.
Love of the Consecrated Life as a Layman: I believe that lay men living the consecrated life are a manifold blessing to the Church. My daily prayer is that the Holy Spirit will summon many to this call, not only to Madonna House, but also to other forms of the lay apostolate.
The Primacy of Prayer and Daily Mass: The soul of the apostolate is prayer. Prayer is listening to God and having a relationship with the communion of saints. I know the saints and they know me. The Mother of God is my friend and intercessor. In prayer, I go to the Father through Jesus and with the Holy Spirit.
The Primacy of Love of One Another and of the Whole Body of Christ: As I live in this community, I discover each day the depth of service which is demanded of us all. As one loves the one nearest him, gradually the heart is opened up to everyone. Gradually the Mystical Body of Christ becomes, not just a doctrine, but a way of life.
Without idealizing the struggle to love, I see that Christian community is the road to the New Creation and, in the end, partakes of heavenly glory. I am grateful to be called to it.
Love of the Fathers of the Church, the Desert Fathers, and the Russian Spiritual Masters: I discovered the Fathers of the Church bit by bit.
Beginning with St. Gregory of Nyssa, I went on to St. Athanasius of Alexandria, St. Basil the Great, and St. Cyril of Alexandria, who is still one of my favorites. Now I am immersed in the sermons of St. Augustine.
The Russian spiritual masters were introduced to me by Catherine Doherty, and from her I acquired a lifelong love of Russian spirituality and of Holy Russia. Through Archbishop Joseph Raya, I’ve also learned to appreciate the spirituality of icons and the richness of the Byzantine liturgy.
Conversion Experiences: I have had many. My baptism was the beginning. Then entering the minor seminary, entering into Catholic Action in college, coming to Madonna House, a 30-day Ignatian retreat, the Charismatic Renewal, seeing Pope John Paul II in Ottawa in 1984, and my recent breakdown and mending (1997-2000).
There are others but the holy angels will have to write about them.
Whole Burnt Offering of Love: I have saved the best—what is perhaps most profound in my relationship with God—until last.
I was 18 and had read the Autobiography of St. Therese of the Child Jesus in which she described her oblation to Christ. It was All Saints Day, my birthday, and the day on which Pope Pius XII proclaimed the dogma of the Assumption.
I simply went up to the statue of Our Lady after Mass and said these words: “I offer to you, O Lord, all that I am, my whole being, and all that I hope to be, as a whole-burnt offering of love.”
That was my oblation, my consecration, one that I avow even until today.
Conclusion: My whole life has been a gift of grace. I am lowly, but God is wondrous in his mercy. Everything I have I have received. Everything is total gift from the Father of mercies.
From Restoration, March 2002
