Being a family…
Trudi wrote this article for Restoration in February 1985. Fr. Callahan died in April 1984.
“Love one another. Take care of one another. Take care especially of the sick among us. Love one another.”
These were Catherine Doherty’s opening words as we —the directors, elders, and priests of the community —gathered around her bedside for the official opening of the Local Directors’ meetings.
If Catherine has said anything to anyone through the years, it has been Love one another. If she expected this of the Christian world in general, all the more has she expected it of her own Madonna House family, to which she gave birth.
Early in her writings, Catherine defined Madonna House as a family rooted in the life of the Trinity. Sobornost was the word she used to sum up the oneness that she constantly challenged us to work towards; that is, to be of one mind, one heart, and one spirit in the Lord Jesus Christ.
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Annual Meetings
She implemented the idea of an annual directors’ meeting not primarily to discuss the work of the apostolate or even to examine its spirit. She felt it was much more important that we spend time together. This would give us the opportunity to incarnate that spirit.
Catherine believed that if we were going to witness to a family life in each of our foundations or missions, it was important that we directors had the chance to build up our relationships, our love, and our commitment to each other by coming together once a year.
Coming home to Combermere, where we met with Catherine, Fr. John Callahan (the first MH priest), and the Men’s Director— as well as some of the priests and elders of the apostolate — thus became a yearly tradition.
We also found time to visit with other members of the family residing in Combermere and to get acquainted with the potentially new members of the community.
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The Essence
Our most important charismas a group is that of being a family. Just as it is important for a normal family to make the building up of family life apriority, so it is imperative for us as a spiritual family to make one another our priority. Catherine must have had this in mind many years ago when she admonished us to continue to meet even after her death.
She told us that, at some point, we might be criticized for spending money on what might seem a luxury to some—that of coming together yearly. Such criticism did not worry her, for she had always seen clearly that to lose the sense of family would be to lose the very essence of who we are.
To inculcate this family spirit, Catherine introduced us to a wealth of customs and traditions — many from her native Russia but from other lands and groups as well. In addition, each Madonna House mission writes a daily diary, available to all the staff, to keep us in touch in a more detailed way.
Each member of the apostolate chooses a day in the year that he or she would like to celebrate — a birthday, baptismal day, or some other anniversary. We customarily send homemade cards to each person on this special day, usually with a personal note from the members of each house.
A list of these anniversaries is kept in the chapel so that each person is remembered in prayer on his or her special day. Each mission house also has a Foundation Day. In Toronto we chose October 15,because that was the day Catherine celebrated as the foundation of the original Toronto Friendship House in the early 1930s.
Again, each of the other missions sends cards to honor these special days of celebration. We mark the occasion with a Mass, if possible, as well as a special meal and time together rejoicing and thanking the Lord for his many blessings.
I must admit that this year’s directors’ meetings (1985) came as a shock to me. It was the first year that Fr. John Callahan was not physically with us, although we were very much aware of his spiritual presence. Catherine was also unable to attend the discussions due to her poor state of health.
Over the years we have been asked millions of times what will happen to the Apostolate after Catherine dies. We have always answered that if Madonna House is of God, it will survive and that he will provide the necessary leadership.
This year, that “someday,” future reality suddenly became present! Fr. Callahan had died and Catherine was ill. The absence of those two people, who have meant so much to me personally, was like a knife cutting through my heart.
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Realisation
An era has passed. The realization of it brought tears to my eyes. Many memories flooded my mind, dating back to the day I so naively walked into Madonna House for a “holiday” —August 1, 1953.
All the memories of Eddie Doherty, the wonderful things he did for each of us and for the apostolate, came rushing into my mind. I thought, too, of Fr. Cal and remembered his kindness to me and the role he played in bringing Madonna House to fruition.
Yet we see the charisms that the community requires coming forth in a most fantastic way from the many members of our apostolic family.
We know that if we are true to Catherine’s words — love one another — Madonna House will live on.
Photo by Trudi Cortens of Fr. Callahan and Catherine Doherty with the Local Directors (LDs) at the 1971-1972 meeting.
