So many reasons to cry out continually in prayer
March has come upon us at last, and the Church is ready to take herself to task…or should be. As one of our favorite hymns from Eastern Christianity proclaims: The Lenten Spring has come! The light of repentance. O brothers, let us cleanse ourselves from all evil, crying out to the Giver of Life, glory to you, O Lover of man!
Yet, just how do we cleanse ourselves from all evil? In addition to what we are aware of, there is so much in us complicit with sin that we are not aware of at all. It’s a trying enough task to face what we do know; how do we face that of which we are woefully unaware?
In actual fact, we don’t; the Lord alone can effectively do this. Our place is to bring ourselves to him, over and over again. His place is to be our Savior, Redeemer, Lord.
For the Lord sees the state of things in a perfectly clear light. He sees the sins and sinful tendencies lodged deep within my soul. He sees the same in every human being currently alive on this planet. He perceives the relationship between my sinful peccadillos and the growing despair in this place or that in our world today.
He is working on each person, to bring him or her to the truth about themselves whatever their religious or non-religious background. He knows perfectly the connection between the particular state of a person and the shared state of peoples around the world. One might say Our Lord has his work cut out for him.
And that brings us back to our question above: how do we cleanse ourselves from all evil? Only by going to him. Going to him in prayer, going to him in the sacraments, going to him in solitude, going to him in the poor and in those who need my help in whatever way.
Crying out to the Giver of Life… I believe this is meant to become a way of life for us Christians — to cry out constantly to the Giver of Life to raise us from the dead, spiritually speaking.
We are “dead” in so many ways that one hardly knows where to begin. Take trusting in God at all times, for example: how utterly unalive and unalert I can be in this regard, taken up as I can be with my worries and anxieties about Parkinson’s disease or an upcoming knee replacement surgery. Instead of trusting the Lord to provide the grace needed for today, I am wondering what I will do if tomorrow is worse!
Then there are those people whose suffering is continuous and of a deep intensity. Do I welcome them regularly into my heart where I am crying out to the Lord for their welfare? Do I not get weary of yet another tale of woe which only makes me in my situation feel worse, or beyond that, ashamed for forgetting about them for a time because I just want to relax?!
Then there’s my pride about my achievements, whatever they might be, myself having lost sight of the One who sustains my every breath and without whom I can do nothing, in fact, and without whom I cease to exist. And let’s not forget my slothfulness in prayer, my divided and lustful heart, my subterranean anger… and so it goes. There are so many reasons to cry out continually in prayer. Then there’s my not praying like that despite all the evidence that I need to!
What do you call someone who has every reason to be doing something, knows this is so, and still doesn’t quite do it? A sluggard? A fool? An ordinary Christian today?
Here are a few excerpts from the prayers of a 4th-century Christian (St. Ephrem — or Ephraim the Syrian, Deacon and Doctor) as he deals with similar problems. Notice how in the end, after a withering and utterly honest examination of conscience, he puts all his hope, not in himself, whom he knows only too well, but in the mercy of the Lord. Our faith in this truth, and the fruits of that faith in daily living, are our great contribution to the healing of our churches and our world of today.
St. Ephrem:
“After having gained knowledge of the truth, I became a brawler and an offender. I argue over trifles; I become envious of and callous toward my neighbour, merciless toward beggars, wrathful, argumentative, obstinate, slothful, irritable. I harbor vile thoughts. I love fancy clothing. To this day I have many corrupt thoughts and fits of selfishness, gluttony, sensuality, vainglory, arrogance, lust, gossiping, breaking of fasts, despondency, rivalry, and indignation.
“I’m worthless but think much of myself. I lie constantly but get angry with liars. I defile the temple of my body with wanton thoughts, but sternly judge the wanton. I condemn those who fall, but myself fall constantly. I condemn slanderers and thieves but am myself both a thief and a slanderer. I walk with a bright countenance, although I am altogether impure.
“In churches and at banquets I always want to take the place of honor. I see hermits and act dignified; I see monks and I become pompous. I strive to appear pleasing to women, dignified to strangers, intelligent and reasonable to my neighbors, superior to intellectuals. With the righteous I act as if I possess vast wisdom; the unintelligent I disdain as illiterates.
“If I am offended, I take revenge. If I am honored, I shun those who honor me. If someone demands of me what is rightfully his, I start a suit. And those who tell me the truth I consider enemies. When my error is exposed, I get angry, but I am not so dissatisfied when people flatter me.
“I do not want to honor those who are worthy, but I myself, who am unworthy, demand honor. I do not want to tire myself with work, but if someone fails to serve me, I get angry with him. I do not want to walk among laborers, but if someone fails to help me in my work, I slander him.
“I arrogantly deny my brother when he is in need, but when I have need of something, I turn to him. I hate those who are ill, but when I myself am ill, I wish that everyone would love me. I do not want to know those who are higher than I, and I scorn those who are lower. …
“Such is my life! With what vileness do I obstruct my own salvation! And my arrogance, my vainglory does not permit me to think about my sores that I might cure myself. Behold my virtuous feats! See how vast are the regiments of sins which the enemy sends to campaign against me! …
“If thou wouldst save me, who am unworthy, O merciful Lord, vouchsafe me, a sinner, repentance; enliven my soul deadened by sins, O Giver of Life. Drive out the stony hardness that is in my miserable heart and grant me a fountain of contrition, O thou who didst pour forth life unto us from Thy life-creating-rib.” *
The Lenten Spring has indeed come. May we be bathed anew in the light of repentance!
* (excerpted from A Spiritual Psalter from the Works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian, copyright 2004 by The St. John of Kronstadt Press, Liberty, TN)
Artwork by ©Pat Probst, Madonna House
