What?! Is that really an answer? Seriously?
I first encountered Madonna House in 2008, when I moved from my hometown to Krasnoyarsk, Russia. At that time, my Catholic experience was just a couple of years old: it was only the beginning of my journey. The presence of Madonna House in my life and in my spiritual formation has been a great gift for me.
My first impression of the community was mixed. Who are these people?
My pragmatic mind was filled with many questions: What do they do? How do they live? Why are they even here? And also — why are they like this?
Like what? Strange, warm, and most importantly — safe. Katia, Maria, Sofia* — so different, so radiant…
At the same time, many questions hovered in the air, leading to a pain of incomprehension. For example, I was perplexed by their closeness to Orthodoxy. I didn’t understand why Catholics needed it at all.
It is important to note that I grew up in an atheistic family where mocking religiosity and the Church was common. Additionally, the image of the Orthodox Church in Russia at that time was not particularly positive, as decades of atheism had taken their toll. So it is not surprising at that time, that I rejected everything related to Orthodoxy.
The presence of icons in the house, conversations about Eastern spirituality, and references to the religious traditions of Russia repelled rather than attracted me. I thought that Catholic teaching was sufficient.
Madonna House helped me overcome this rejection and discover the charm of Orthodox spirituality, which now complements rather than hinders my Catholic faith. This was an amazing gift I received through the community, and it changed me.
At some point, I realized that it had become a joy for me to see the icons in their chapel, to pray before them, and to feel an indescribable reverence.
Here in Combermere, it has become a gift to meet Marysia Kowalchyk, who had written those icons for the Krasnoyarsk house.
I received many such spiritual gifts. Even then, it was clear to me that Madonna House was a unique place: one could come just to talk, to bring their pain and questions, and to experience acceptance and love.
The Krasnoyarsk house was always a place of joy, peace, and ringing bells. It should be said that in modern Russia it is unusual to “keep an open door” for everyone, including strangers. At least, it is unsafe. In this sense, Madonna House was different from everything I had known before.
Once, I asked Katia why they were there, and she answered, “To just be.”
What?! Is that really an answer? Seriously?
This answer clashed with my pragmatism and my stereotypes about Catholic service. But these words “to just be” were the essence of love, because “being” is sometimes harder than doing many things. These people “just were” with me, and I could not wrap my mind around it or accept it in my heart.
Then there was the joint work in the Alpha program — an amazing experience of touching the Holy Spirit, where members of Madonna House lent a helping hand, rejoiced, and provided the experience of prayer.
There were celebrations, services, and songs. There were times when the love of these people lifted me from the darkness of unbelief and abandonment.
It’s impossible to describe everything. My first poustinia and the realization that this place existed not for performing spiritual feats (although that is possible too), but to “just be” (again?) with God; the visit of the Directors General to Krasnoyarsk; warm gatherings when we were shown pictures of Combermere and the penetrating feeling that engulfed me — “I want to go there.”
When I shared this thought with Maria, she placed her hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye, and simply said, “Learn English.” It seemed to be a prophecy (not a joke).
Only when I arrived in Combermere did I truly realize how much the Krasnoyarsk house had preserved the spirit of the Madonna House Apostolate. It was evident in small details and real deeds. Donkeys and bells at Christmas, canning bees to preserve vegetables for the winter, feeding the homeless, distinctive respect for priests, etc.
These people helped me to change, and they shined their light so that my faith became stronger; they gave me joy and warmth.
Recently, while reflecting on the words of the Little Mandate, I suddenly realized that it contained a very Russian concept: “Never counting the cost.” I think this absoluteness is very much in the character of Catherine Doherty and it is very Russian.
Madonna House belongs to Russia, in a spiritual sense, of course, and also with your hearts. In Combermere, I feel this very clearly.
So, I want to say perhaps an awkward thing, but I can say it because I am Russian: never count the cost; preserve your presence in Russia. Yes, now Russia is a place of darkness. But you are a light.
Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” (Mt. 5:16).
(Editor’s note: Our Madonna House apostolate in Krasnoyarsk, Russia, opened in 2006, is temporarily suspended because of the war.)
*MH members: Catherine Lesage, Marie Javora and Sofia Segal.
Translated from Russian by Polina Rukosueva.
Photo: Chapel at Madonna House Krasnoyarsk, Russia
