It is staggering…
Have you ever wondered what it is like to be a eucharistic minister? I had never given it much thought myself.
Like many Catholics who go to Mass regularly, the time walking up the aisle to receive Holy Communion is not filled with thoughts about who is distributing Jesus. When I found myself on the other side of this interaction for the first time, I was surprised at the unique perspective that comes from this role.
I am currently Madonna House’s lone seminarian, and each year brings a different pastoral experience. Last year my parish assignment involved RCIA and Youth Groups. This year it has been Communion calls to nursing homes and the homebound. It is a powerful thing to take Jesus with you in a little golden pyx* and bring him to those who cannot attend Mass.
Probably because of this new part of my service, what has been at the forefront for me this year has been the Real Presence of Christ. It is staggering, especially when you are not used to it. Receiving Communion all these years did not entirely prepare me for what it is like to carry a paten away from the altar toward the waiting people.
It’s as if there is a spotlight blazing out of that little golden dish, and it is more than a little distracting for a green seminarian trying to navigate the task of not dropping Jesus or of determining if the little kid approaching is of receiving age or not. At one point I asked Jesus if he could tone it down a little so I could do my job.
The Real Presence has had one other unexpected effect. Even the simple phrase “the Body of Christ,” repeated over and over with a kind of liturgical rhythm, takes on new dimensions with the awareness of Christ so tangibly present.
As I repeated that phrase, seeing one face after another present itself in front of me, my perspective suddenly reversed: the “Body of Christ” began to apply to the line of people quietly waiting to receive him.
There is a beautiful variety in the communion line. You can expect to see different generations, occupations, ethnicities, and attitudes all on display. People approach you in subtly different ways. Some make eye contact or smile; others are in a unique mode of focus on what they are about to do.
Most receive in the hand, and hands vary tremendously as well: hardened working hands, small children’s hands, hands with painted nails, soft elderly hands—all coming for the same reason. This is the Body of Christ indeed, visibly present in the beauty of his creation.
I am experiencing a slowly developing sense of spiritual fatherhood during my time as a seminarian. An obstacle to that reality has been, in part, the fact that I am going back to a community of people mostly older than me and who outrank me even more in wisdom than in years. This parish experience, simple as it is, has unlocked something crucial in this part of my formation.
As I am not yet a priest, there is very little connection between my present ministry and being able to actually “provide” the Eucharist to those in need of it. But the connection is not entirely absent. Like many things at the seminary, it is a minute version of something whose fullness is still some years off but which is being prepared now.
Being called to a role of fatherhood for Madonna House still seems very strange on the practical level, but I am beginning to see the shape it will take. Madonna House has formed me in the adult version of my faith, and looking ahead, I am beginning to see what it will look like to grow as a Madonna House priest.
*A pyx is a small round container used to carry the consecrated Host to those unable to come to Mass.
